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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22815490">It Hurts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shikorra/pseuds/Shikorra'>Shikorra</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stargate SG-1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, post Jolinar angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:21:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>598</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22815490</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shikorra/pseuds/Shikorra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Janet, Cassandra and Sam, in the aftermath of Jolinar.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Samantha "Sam" Carter/Janet Fraiser, Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jolinar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Chocolate Box - Round 5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It Hurts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/janetcarter/gifts">janetcarter</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dear janetcarter,</p><p>This little thing has been nagging me since I saw your prompts. I imagine a much bigger story around these three that fits a lot more of your ideas about them so I hope this little taste fits in.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janet brought her home as soon as she could.</p><p>Sam sat silent in the car, at the table. Silent as Cassandra chattered brightly about what video tape they could watch together.</p><p>Jolinar.</p><p>As she watched Sam try to smile as Cassandra led her to the sofa, Janet wrestled with her anger. She wanted to hate Jolinar except… except it wasn’t that simple. Sam did not need to say it out loud for Janet to to work out that Sam was mourning Jolinar and that just did not fit.</p><p>A soft sob broke through Janet’s brief reverie and she hurried from the table to see Sam holding Cassandra on her lap, face buried in their daughter’s hair and shoulders shaking jerkily as she cried. “Sam...” she whispered as she carefully sat and slid am arm around her lover’s waist. “Sam... I’m here. We’re safe. <em>Sam</em>.”</p><p>Cassandra was murmuring similar broken reassurances, grabbing Janet’s hand and trying so hard not to cry as well while seconds and then minutes crept past.</p><p>“I am so sorry,” Sam finally said in a choked and broken voice. “I’m <em>sorry</em>.”</p><p>“Sam...”</p><p>“I should have <em>known</em>, Cassie. I should have kept us away from you.”</p><p>“Sam, no,” Janet answered in an instant. “You weren’t – <em>aren’t - </em>responsible for Jolinar’s choices.”</p><p>“That wasn’t Jolinar!”</p><p>“Sam...”</p><p>“Jolinar wasn’t in control then. They gave me back control as soon as I listened to them and… they weren’t goa’uld, Janet. You don’t… I can’t explain it but they didn’t, couldn’t lie to me. Not about what they were. If I’d demanded it, they’d have left me… killed themselves to free me. I couldn’t, didn’t want that. They would have left me as soon as we reached their people. But I screwed up.”</p><p>Cassandra had pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and was trying to wipe Sam’s tears away. “It’s OK, Sam.”</p><p>Sam kissed her cheek and hugged her tight again for a moment. “No.”</p><p>Janet curled her arm around Sam’s waist just that little bit tighter as she absorbed the words and reminded herself to keep calm. It was easier to do that at her work than it was now. “So what went wrong?”</p><p>“I didn’t think – didn’t think about Cassie being able to sense Jolinar. I never – they panicked – Cassie, I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“It’s OK,” Cassandra repeated quietly. “Jolinar scared me but – but they didn’t hurt me. They could have. I know what goa’uld can do. And all they did was try and scare me into being quiet. If I’d stayed quiet, it would have been different too.”</p><p>“Cassie!” exclaimed Janet and Sam at exactly the same moment. It broke then tension and Sam let out a half sob, half laugh.</p><p>“You did the right thing, Cassie.” Janet said firmly, taking her daughter’s hand again. “We can’t see the future – what if Jolinar <em>had</em> been a goa’uld? You had no way to know – so you did the right thing.” Cassandra bit her lip and didn’t answer. Janet guessed this would need to be talked out several times over before it was settled but she turned her attention to Sam – who was nodding firmly to back up Janet’s words – and snuggled her cheek against Sam’s shoulder. “The same goes for you. And I repeat, Jolinar’s choices, including their choice not to warn us about the ashrak, are not your responsibility, Sam. Let them go.”</p><p>Sam shook her head. “They died… I… I <em>felt them die</em>. I -”</p><p>“Sam.”</p><p>“It hurts, Janet.”</p><p>Janet pressed closer and stretched up to kiss Sam. “I know. But I’m here for you. We’re here for you.”</p>
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